I know you said you couldn’t join the army in a comment because of religious reasons so I’m assuming you’re muslim, if that’s the case so am I. You may want to justify or explain why your life isn't what you want it to be, but avoid making excuses for poor choices or a bad attitude. It’s all about what you do next. Lastly, it's not easy to get out of the rut cycle you're in, folks tend to be sucked back in, when i was with DePaul they had an 'Alone in London' scheme where they helped youngsters with CVs, job preps, funding for interview clothes and activities to pass the time - see if you're eligible. Because in the engineering field theres a lot of scholarships. "A three-inch memory foam mattress pad made my back feel soooooo good," wrote one Reddit reader. Keep your head down and over the years you will lose touch with your gang mates too. If you still want the same things, then do what Chris Sacca did and change your daily routine. I did so they could see the reality and leave the game. Imma have to be honest with you guys. Thanks bro, I agree with you that the military will be my last option if evrything fails. 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A few years ago, I decided to change my life for the better. Hi! First it depends on how these orders are to you. If you're not where you want to be in your career--or, for that matter, in your life--never let yourself believe change is impossible. I have a good job, paid well and I’m getting married soon bro. Press J to jump to the feed. It’s difficult at the age you are and I’m assuming olders have put you on to this. I have an anonymous Instagram you can message me on it’s @22s_liz. Some kids our age from the other block saw us and we got into a fight. Change your habits for 30 days and see what happens. I could assist signpost you to some amazing organisations that can help you. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. It's alright to talk about it, and to ask for help. Get the 4 main GCSEs and do a Level 2 ICT apprenticeship. Don't cut them off all at once right now as that may be dangerous (depending on what they're like, only you know them best I guess). My parents were immigrants and came here to give me and my little brother a better chance. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. If you’re a runner who is being used infrequently, you could go off the radar for alittle bit and just try stay out of sight until everything blows over. I wish there was a way I could convey how much r/keto has changed my life. Excuses might salvage some pride, but they don't help you advance you toward your goals. It is very easy to get into a lot of Uni courses. I believe you are about to make a great change in your life just because you've already taken the first steps by acknowledging that your lifestyle is not right, so well done! Here, 22 impactful microhabits you can begin tonight. That is honestly the best option. How to break away from some 'friends' who are continually dragging you down that wrong path - re drugs. They can help you. It’s definitely in no way easy and it may not be easy to break away from that lifestyle amongst the crowd youre in, they probably won’t be much support which is why you’re most likely on Reddit. This is a throwaway account. If you're not where you want to be in your career--or, for that matter, in your life--never let yourself believe change is impossible. The point is that if you want to have a completely different life in a year or two, you need to start now, and you need to start small. There, you will find brotherhood, and a coach who will take you under his wing. Tell him how shit your life is, and how miserable you are.The message will hopefully get across. 1. You Can Change Your Life. It is better to just own your mistakes and strive to do better going forward. If I’ve learned anything on this personal development journey of mine, it’s that changing your life can happen in a moment – it’s one simple decision to not be in the same place in one year that you are now. If you are not taking excessively yourself, say your supplier has cut you off, and don't have another. You still have the time to change, make it happen. My Mother works 2 jobs 7 days a week so I dont rlly see her. LegalAdviceUK exists to provide help for those in need of legal support in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Phase yourself out from the street mentality. There are three types of people in this world, those who are happy because they have won their battles, those who are still fighting and those who gave up. I even said I didnt know who done it when police questioned me. I think what you need is guidance and opportunities and I’d be more than willing to help. I’ve lived a very similar life style to a point where at 19, I was very respected in ends. Also please remember that change happens over a long time so don't ever give up or feel disheartened if things don't get better soon. To my surprise, I was able to get a meeting with every single one of them and talk to them about whatever I wanted. We feel it will be better than our current situation. You still have your whole life ahead of you and a million chances to make things better. - Duration: 2:11. I would tell you to lay low by moving to family elsewhere if you live in the UK or if you have family abroad to move there for some time. I dont feel good about what I do but I would just smoke up a zoot to forget about what was making me feel like shit. Use that cash to take the relevant courses (nothing major) to become a deckhand and you can start looking for jobs to work on yachts in the Mediterranean, Caribbean etc. 450 votes, 118 comments. Stuff like science and history is interesting you know. Its all about mentality and education. I completely changed my life … I’ve seen all the amazing advice you’ve received already, I really hope you get out the situation you’re in. It sounds like mentoring may be of immediate use, ie. I wish I hear of your success in a few years or sooner! I want to change but I dont know how. Continue this and you can slip away under the radar. First advice, I agree with you that you shouldn’t discuss it with the feds just because that could make matter worse. I’ve written a 21-page ebook about three ideas that heavily influenced my life, and that I believe can influence your life too. Because life is an adventure. I just saw the car pull up and ran. Make yourself busy, you may need to continue for alittle but but make excuses (I have football, or you’ve gotta go families, got college etc) this will slowly take responsibility away from you to the other runners to take over jobs. As far as school goes, finish. it's not a lack of trying for me. Ex. You sound like a mature and caring person who will go on to do amazing things for his family! I saw this post on Instagram and searched it on google to get here. so i'll leave a phone number to a place i volunteer for. Try and get a few cash-in-hand jobs so you dont need to rob and feel a sense of accomplishment - even if it is just shifting a load of rubble. The act of doing this taught me about my beliefs and about people, which changed my perception of life. Startup Life 30 Examples of 30-Day Challenges That Will Change Your Life Look at life as if it's a series of experiments. So many times people feel they need to give one. We know when our fears are controlling our lives because we feel discontent and unfulfilled. I dont want my lil bro to end up dead or a killer and I dont want my mom to have both her sons being peices of shit. What simple … If I had a normal family. So please, please, consider my offer on talking privately and we can see what specific help and support myself and the Outreach Programme can provide for you. It you’re interested in art in any way, give me a message. We offer wellbeing support including access to therapy as well as getting support from young people just like you and helping with training and careers stuff too. I so badly just want to love someone, and for once I want someone to love … You can also list some of your strengths here so that you know what you have to draw on as you go through the change process. One change – whether it be a new idea, decision or habit – can be enough to completely change your life. Personally, I used to be good friends with dealers, druggies, suicidal people, people in drug rehab. Most people see through them anyway. Next, look up for social mobility programs that cater to school leavers, they will hook you up with links and opportunities to gain skills and learning opportunities. Thanks. Posts Wiki Rules ChangeAView.com. i feel if you were to contact the right people they'd help you out. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Like someone else just said below make sure to get into college and then Uni as well. How many years have passed without doing anything useful? Save my comment in your phone and read it back whenever you are feeling low or demotivated! I want to change my Life. Also, in purely practical terms, if you're in school you're keeping yourself out of trouble, and if you're making an effort with your studies people will be more inclined to help you, because you'll clearly be trying to help yourself. If the answer is no, it’s time to re-evaluate and change. Detach yourself and slowly it’ll get better. Education is power and control over your situation. I feel childish that all of my problems, and all of this pain, and suicidal thoughts all stem from just being so lonely. Join. You like learning - use that to your advantage and learn. We cant afford to move out and I cant just say that Im not involved anymore. Although idk you, you’re in my duas, reach out to me if you can iA ❤️. The thing Im scared of is getting caught by feds. I also want to change for my brother and mother. KnowledgeBase - Step By Step Tutorials 80,476 views In this article I have drawn from both my own experience and the many personal development books I have read to give you 50 of the best ways to change your life . I don’t know where you’re based but I’m in London and would be happy to tutor you free of charge to help you get back into education, just drop me a message. Please focus on your school, you are obviously a smart boy as you like learning and want to learn further. Inspire your little brother to follow in your footsteps. To make a change, you need to be aware of what you like as much as you're aware of what you don't like so that you don't end up wrecking the positives in your life. Like I said, I have friends who have and I have family who have. There are a number of charities in London that work with people just like you. Do any degree that you are interested in, don't think so much about the career after it because going to Uni alone will improve your life a lot. My parents were immigrants who came here to give me and my little brother a better life. I saw this on twitter and it struck a chord with me. Ive been involved with a gang with since I was 12 (I live in London btw). I wish you the best of luck and hope u find a way to improve your situation. I’m gonna be real with you bro it’s not going to be easy at all. 12. https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/crime-law/gangs/ Your school or college will also have details of local organisations. I dont really trust the teahers at my school enough either. My dad died from lung cancer when i was 6 so I hardly have any memories of him. My mom has said she wouldve taken me back to her home country for my safety a long time ago if she could afford it. Well done for asking for help. :), In a similar boat I started putting my energy into sports Nd try slowly distance yourself from bad influences. My mom works 2 jobs seven days a week so i hardly ever get to see her. I’ll be honest I had many youngers work for me but I always took them on because it’s what they wanted to do. It’s not easy. just advice on how to safely deal with stepping aside from gangs and finishing school and somebody to just phone for support. Those pieces of paper you get with your grades on are some of your vital tickets out. The thing I hate the most though is that I left him. I don't have a lot of good advice for right now beyond trying to be smart. It's alright to say that you're not okay. Have you thought of getting a job? Hot New Top. He got stabbed in his back twice. I thought I would write about the changes I decided to make in case others could benefit from it. Reddit users shared their thoughts about $100 items that can change the quality of life. Personally I didn't go through most of the things u mentioned but I've been through other bad things and I can say is that u can try to get a better relationship with your brother, spend some time with him and create a bond and maybe sometimes mention that you want a different life, he might understand that meaning of it. If your older (I say older but they really aren’t, they want no good for you) will get onto you for leaving and he’s a prick. Once you finish school I see 2 easy ways out : If your grades are good enough, get your self a bunch of scholarships and go away to college. My own "guys" wouldnt allow that and the other block would still get me for shit I done in the past. I sold stuff like crack and dark (heroin). That isn't to say that what you've been through isn't fucking crazy, or damaging because it is and I'll get into that but it's important because it's not too late to make meaningful change. Thx for the help tho. they work to help ppl in your situation. First of all I want to say you are very brave and very strong! Give as much as you can A very close friend of mine just went to prison for stabbing someone sadly during a manic episode, He’s the product of gang life and is now unfortunately institutionalised. Stay safe. It doesn’t mean that you have failed. I myself have stabbed people and been stabbed (they werent big injuries). You’re young. I wont drop any names cuz of reasons. You can also start an apprenticeship if you don't want to go college. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I would suggest checking out some local charities that help with gang culture and members. Don’t lose it because once you do, you’re committed to the roads. That’s true for anything in life. Be the role model for your brother. For now try to stay out of trouble and help your mum as much as you can. Also apprenticeship are great and so are internships, and if you are thinking of college they often do scholarships. London offers a lot of apprenticeship degrees with no prior e, experience or particular GCSE requirements - only that you complete year 11 at school. I started chilling with him and other kids around my age. Do you think that things have to be perfect and anything less than perfect is failure? You may or may not be interested in going to Uni, but if you can scrape together some good GCSEs the world becomes a very different place. And I think my mistake was … And I was left feeling … and moving forward, I would want is to . We thought we were cool and doing something with ourselves but these guys were just using us. Do your mum and your little brother proud. You will be able to move away from your area to a different town and get grants and loans for student accommodation. My PMs are also open if you would like any advice etc. Where or how should I start? If you want new things, then maybe it’s time to quit your job, or make a change in your personal life. I work with statutory services in the local authority and run a mentoring programme for 12-19 year olds. I can tell you what I would tell my younger self, if I could. It's alright to say that you're not okay. I feel like Im lucky tho. Focus on college, work hard, get into uni or military or whatever you want and try make something out of the shit life you grew up in. Hello, I’m Jess, I’m a second year Medical Sciences student and I just wanted to say I’d be more than happy to tutor you in chemistry/biology/maths or if you just need someone to talk to! Yo I dunno if you’re interested but I’m a tattoo artist and I work in London. My brother was stabbed, my friend was stabbed and died, my friends have stabbed people and I’ve been exposed to it all give or take. I know you’re not a child, but Childline will help anyone under 19, and they have a gang-specific resource page. Or would you love to know ways to change your life today? Other peoples opinions can mask your own too, and that can be a killer of living the life you really want. Let go of “normal”. And what do you like studying? Rising. Plus a good, experienced electrician can make £50k+ and that's money you could use to get yourself and your family to a better area, which is something to aim for. Your desire to change your situation is admirable, buddy. And I knew I can't be around of those ppl, so I slowly began moving away from them by saying "oh no I can't come out today cause I'm sick etc" sometimes it worked and sometimes I was confronted about it, another thing that helped as wierd as it might sound and you might go like ?¿ But some articles on a website called jw.org. I thought of this guy as a sort of a father figure cuz he would give me free shit like good shoes and he gave me my first phone. I can only change my attitude and reactions today. – Lao Tzu. hope you get the help you need. Change My View (CMV) r/ changemyview. My own "guys" wouldnt allow that and the other block would still get me for shit I done in the past. Hot New Top Rising. How To Delete Reddit Account on Mobile | Delete Reddit Account on Mobile Easily! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/crime-law/gangs/. I think I gave you feedback that you weren’t interested in hearing, and I think my mistake was assuming that you’d be better off if you heard what I felt I needed to say. The teachers job is to report these sort of issues to social workers straight away. If you have any access to a computer or even phone (posting on reddit so i would assume so) you can learn the basics on YouTube and websites like code academy and go from there with websites like stack exchange. Mindset by Carol Dweck I tried to offer her the money I make but she refuses it. Good luck with everything, and I hope you can help your brother avoid getting into trouble in the first place. I remember being approached by one of the older guys when I was twelve and him offering to buy me some food and new shoes since mine werent in good shape. Make her proud of you. Just get C’s in English, Maths and Science GCSE’s and get a 2-3 month full time job in anything. London has alot to offer. Here are my top 20 books that will change your life. Since all your food and accommodation is paid for, you can even send cash home if need be. If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. But to keep your whereabouts between yourself and family. But with time, I’ve learned to see my resistance as a sign to relax. even after school social programs. I got three friends about to go to trial over a murder, four doing 5 or more years, one in a wheelchair, and 2 that are dead. Please please please get in touch with the Reach out Project (reachoutproject.co.uk) set up by two black women who are helping so many young men like you reach their potential and out of these kinds of situations the world unfortunately pushes you into. Feign illness - whatever it takes to get them to stop trying to buy drugs from you. Read them to shape your thinking and improve your lifestyle. education is the only way out my g. its fuckin shit but try get ur main 5 gcses. Like I’m just destined to be alone my whole life. Although I’m not in your exact position, I’m 20 years old and living in a not so good London area too. You can’t look out for your siblings or parents if your dead or in prison as you’ve pointed out. It’s so courageous and amazing to see you working toward helping yourself and actively looking for advice and I’m not sure what more I can say to you that other comments have touched on. It would really help to know which country/city you're in? Whether it’s a fear of failure, loneliness, or the unknown, it can stop you from living your life to the fullest. As a teacher I would advise against telling your teachers at school if you don't want police and social workers involved. I was in a gang from 12 and that’s when I started shotting. Theresa St. John September 2, 2014 3287 views. We’re trying to transform the youth justice system and other systems for young people to make them more empathetic and our young partners help with that too! Good luck with everything and remember, there’s always a way out. Keep pushing! You won't have time for the gang life if your eyeballs deep in computer studies. As for me, I’d merely like to offer you my support and be your friend through this. Except from a personal point of view, I can relate and I am hopeful that you’ll respond to this and we can communicate perhaps privately. That way you can get paid and learn at the same time....then you can move on to Uni. I can just feel it. I can't imagine the life you've lead and I can't offer advice past what other people have already said - by recognising the problem you're already on the way to fixing it. My life looks completely different than I ever could have imagined it would now. I feel like shit cuz I know he died feeling betrayed and it makes me mad sad and hopeless. What happened happened. Liam Gatsby (I don't know who he is but he has a verified blue tick on Instagram and has half a million followers) has asked for your @. 15. ino, also comin from a single mother household from inner london that it's really fucking hard man. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. See if any of these resonate and make the decision to claim this one life of yours and live it to its fullest. Just 2 more years and then Uni, that's it life will be amazing then :), Good luck! There’s always a way out and there’s always people that will listen. The reason we want to change our life is because we have a dream, desire, or solution we want to experience. I want to change before I go to jail or end up dead. Just to let you guys know my area got beef with another block thats been frying before I was even born. 1. Featured Articles 14 Comments 3287 views 0. Edit: Just to add something quickly: you suggested in your original post that you've been involved in some criminal activity in the past. Find a boxing gym and stay busy. You find your mind drifting off … Put your email in the form and I’ll send it to you. But I can't change the past. If it’s of any comfort I understand what you’re going through as I have people close to me who have been in your position. I had to see and do shit no one my age shouldve done. Good luck with the future and take care of yourself and your family! hey my g. i also live in london, there's ways that u can ask for help without being bait about it. Keep your moms hard work in mind. Regardless I wish you the best of luck with everything and really hope you turn it around , Focus on getting your English and maths man then you can try get a real job it's fucking hard atm cause of covid but if try save as much money as possible to move out of London so you can get a fresh start with your family it will be nearly impossible if you don't put every single bit of effort in your body into focusing getting out of this situation but it is possible. What are the areas of my life I want to change? Knowledge is power. I personally know several former gang members that used the military as a means to escape the cycle of old neighborhood and better their lives. Cause together you'll be stronger as cliche as that sounds, it is true, you'll have his back and he'll have your back. Apparently former professional footballer, "TOWIE" star and rapper. I decided that I had reached a point in my life where I wasn’t happy and needed to make massive changes. Way too young. 8- … More posts from the LegalAdviceUK community. You’ll be surprised how many people live the life you lived. That’s because small changes, with time, can snowball into something much, much greater. There are people out there who can help you. fuck man, during a pandemic im even proud of u for tryna get out. If you want to change, you're already a huge part of the way there. The orgy that changed my life ... Reddit. I don't want to sound like i'm not thankfully or blaming my living situation, because they been providing a roof over my head for 30 years. maybe they dont help you out directly but they could give you contact numbers for someone that can thats more local. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. You Can Change Your Life. Ive been arrested by feds a couple times. You need to have that, and you still do. Shit got real for me when one of my friends nearly died. There’s no point on dwelling on the past. We will be interviewing a variety of people such as experts, athletes, celebrities, and others who can help you with your journey by sharing theirs with you. And allow you to some amazing organisations that can thats more local they are succeeding in way. Sure to get to see and do a Level 2 ICT apprenticeship be than. We ’ re going through he was around 20 and lived in the form I. Ever get to see and do regret ruining lives deep in computer studies is open. Years have passed since you decided to change before I go to more... Way, give me cuz right now over gun charges ) out and I ’ d be more than to... Age shouldve done may end up where you can do it too )... Better to just own your mistakes and strive to do better going forward and! Too - phone/email a charity and ask for help without being bait about it better life, )... To make soup in computer studies but greed is what gets you killed or bagged friends nearly died change I. 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